Grief: Mosaic Theory vs. Stages
Most of us are familiar with the stage theory of grief.
Stage Theory of dying and grief involves a set of “tasks, processes, or stages” that a grieving person will experience. They are often determined to occur in sequence with little variation. According to this theory, a person who is dying or experiencing grief will first begin with denial, then anger, followed by bargaining, then depression, and finally acceptance. This can seem to be a linear process, yet it allows for some flexibility in moving forwards and backwards for some people. The point of Stage Theory seems to be that in the end, people will end up with acceptance. This implies a “completion” of the grieving process.
Now, Melissa M. Kelley has a new idea about grief - the mosaic theory.
The idea of a Mosaic of Grief differs from Stage Theory. There is nothing linear about it; progression along a certain timeline does not factor in. This theory looks at the brokenness caused by death and grief and attempts to create something new with the broken pieces. The broken pieces created in times of grief can be collected, placed together in any variety of patterns, and “cemented” together. There may appear to be “empty” spaces in the mosaic, but those spaces are filled with cement that keeps it all together. The cement can be described as never fully drying, allowing for flexibility and movement. (I, for one, see the cement as being God’s love. It can never fully dry – God’s love is living and breathing and moving. God’s love is never finished or hardened.) Something new, a new image, a piece of art, is created from the broken pieces. Sometimes, the design in the mosaic can’t be seen while it is being constructed. Sometimes, one can only determine the pattern or appreciate its beauty from a distance. This newly created mosaic is not just a collection of broken pieces stuck in mud; it’s an entirely new creation. Oftentimes, this mosaic is not created alone, but with partners. And it’s a permanent piece of art, forever belonging to the ones who created it. It’s a lasting monument, honoring the brokenness and inspiring awe with its new beauty.
Stage Theory of dying and grief involves a set of “tasks, processes, or stages” that a grieving person will experience. They are often determined to occur in sequence with little variation. According to this theory, a person who is dying or experiencing grief will first begin with denial, then anger, followed by bargaining, then depression, and finally acceptance. This can seem to be a linear process, yet it allows for some flexibility in moving forwards and backwards for some people. The point of Stage Theory seems to be that in the end, people will end up with acceptance. This implies a “completion” of the grieving process.
Now, Melissa M. Kelley has a new idea about grief - the mosaic theory.
The idea of a Mosaic of Grief differs from Stage Theory. There is nothing linear about it; progression along a certain timeline does not factor in. This theory looks at the brokenness caused by death and grief and attempts to create something new with the broken pieces. The broken pieces created in times of grief can be collected, placed together in any variety of patterns, and “cemented” together. There may appear to be “empty” spaces in the mosaic, but those spaces are filled with cement that keeps it all together. The cement can be described as never fully drying, allowing for flexibility and movement. (I, for one, see the cement as being God’s love. It can never fully dry – God’s love is living and breathing and moving. God’s love is never finished or hardened.) Something new, a new image, a piece of art, is created from the broken pieces. Sometimes, the design in the mosaic can’t be seen while it is being constructed. Sometimes, one can only determine the pattern or appreciate its beauty from a distance. This newly created mosaic is not just a collection of broken pieces stuck in mud; it’s an entirely new creation. Oftentimes, this mosaic is not created alone, but with partners. And it’s a permanent piece of art, forever belonging to the ones who created it. It’s a lasting monument, honoring the brokenness and inspiring awe with its new beauty.